Star Trek: Voyager – S03E05, False Profits


I saw Ferengis and I couldn’t believe it. Why? Having watched the entire Star Trek: Deep Space Nine series at least a couple of times, I have developed a healthy hatred of Ferengi episodes, which is synonymous with not funny, repetitive, stupid, and pointless. I can save just a couple that come to mind, namely Little Green Men (fourth season) and The Magnificent Ferengi (sixth season, with special guest star Iggy Pop). For some reasons, the creators of Voyager decided to import this disease into this series which is theoretically immune to Ferengi contamination as it takes place on the other side of the Universe. Very well. Not!

This is really bad. The episode, titled False Profits, unsurprisingly, sucks. It’s like Threshold. And like any other Ferengi episode, or any episode with Lwaxana Troi in The Next Generation. But at least the latter had the excuse of “The Boss’s Wife Must Work“, since Majel Barrett was Gene Roddenberry’s wife. Here there’s not even that! Who thought it was a good idea to write such a dumb story?

The episode continues the plot of The Price, an episode of the third season of The Next Generation, where two Ferengis were trapped beyond an unstable wormhole. And here they are: they play great sages on a planet with half-naked women who masturbate their ears most of the time. Ugh. I don’t even want to waste any more time writing about this disgrace. There is the possibility for Voyager to use the same tunnel used by the Ferengis to return to the Alpha Quadrant but this fails due to a series of actions, one more stupid than the other, by both those of the Federation and the Ferengis. The journey can restart, warp 9 towards the next episode, ciao!

PS: The Delta Flyers podcast shout out: It’s really satisfactory to hear Robert Duncan McNeill destroying False Profits which is truly inexcusable and indefensible. Garrett Wong is more positive, and I don’t understand why!

Previous episode: The Swarm

Next episode: Remember


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