The Revenant: Movie Review

In short, I watched for the second time The Revenant, a 2015 film directed by Alejandro Iñárritu and starring Leonardo DiCaprio.

In my opinion it all started with a phone call that I imagine as follows:

A. Hi Leo, how are you?

L. Well, you know, a little down, I never win an Oscar and it’s starting to bother me…

A. Don’t worry, I have the solution. We can make a film in which you suffer from start to finish, you are wounded, dying, somebody kills your son, you suffer from hunger, cold, you have to eat meat even if you are a vegetarian, you fall into a ravine and take refuge in the carcass of your dead horse, and eventually you start crying looking directly at the camera.

L. Ale, but this is the perfect recipe! You’re a genius!

A. But I didn’t tell you the best part: you also have to fight a huge CGI bear.

L. Wait, this doesn’t seem like a great idea to me…

A. And your antagonist is played by Tom Hardy who talks in an absurd way, so that even if we don’t cover his face for once, no one can understand what he says.

L. Look, I’m not convinced of this either, but I’ll go along. Do we make the film in black and white to also win the Oscar for best cinematography?

A. No, no, we use colors, but with Lubezki we win for sure anyway.

L. Look, I’m on board. I can’t wait to suffer for art. Hey, should I lose twenty or thirty kg to get into character? Or should I put on some fat eating junk food? That always helps with the Oscars

A. No, no, there’s no need. You’ll suffer so much in front of the camera that you won’t have to do it also before shooting.

L. Perfect then, thanks Ale, you are the best!

A. You’re welcome Leo, I do it for you!

At the end Leonardo DiCaprio did win an Oscar for this. But did we really need The Revenant? Because he suffered, but so did we…

And yes, I appreciate how the movie shows the injustices against the poor Native Americans, and the force of nature, the cold, the wind… But I won’t watch it a third time anytime soon! Mr. Iñárritu, we don’t get along so well! Ciao!


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